During the dark days of the Bush Reign of Error, the much ridiculed Commander-in-Chimp kept pesky protesters from his photo ops by establishing ‘free speech zones,’ always far from the event, citing ‘safety concerns.’ In the wake of 9/11, cowed gaggles of protesters would let themselves be herded into these rings surrounded by police storm-troopers armed for bear.
We seem to be in for more of the same, with the National Park Service moving to bar protesters from major routes and sites in D.C. during Inauguration Day, where massive protests are planned all weekend.
You can’t blame The Walking Orange Turd for that, but have no doubt he will resurrect and expand on Bush’s unconstitutional infringement of our rights.
Fuck him, I say, and fuck the National Park Service. This is the United States of Fucking America, and we will march and protest where we damn well please! “Fine words,” you say, “but how do you get around the Storm-Troopers?”
I’m glad you asked! Planning, preparation & subterfuge. Here is an example. Say The Man prohibits protesters from the National Mall by surrounding it with a thin blue line, vigilantly looking for ‘the usual suspects’ such as dirty hippies to bust and whisk away from the event. This leads to the first rule:
Disguise. Don’t look like dirty hippies. Dress normally. Even dress up a bit. Who suspects a guy or gal wearing business casual? Don’t carry obvious signs have folks queued up to bring your group signs once you are in position. Disguise will also help you if they try to catch you and you need to disappear into the crowd.
How do you get through the Storm-Troopers? At a big event, they are truly spread thinly around the periphery of the action. To get through them you need to ‘thin the herd,’ create weak points, penetrate those and establish a beachhead. To do this you need to:
Create a Diversion. The Man can’t generate new cops out of thin air. If something is happening elsewhere, say on steps of the Supreme Court, or elsewhere on Capital Hill, The Man will need to peel off some squads of Storm Troopers to investigate. The more locations that need to be covered, the more precious members of the Blue Man Group they will need to remove from the thin blue line. Inevitably and eventually, gaps will appear.
Buying Time. You’ve got a great diversion going, but your infiltration team will need time, and it doesn’t take long to bust the Diversion Teams. You need to jam things up on the trips to and from the diversion sites. Map the likely routes away from the National Mall to the Diversion sites and have a Mobile Team ready with cars that suffer mysterious breakdowns in the roads on the way there or way back to stymie traffic. “No, we aren’t protesters, I think my battery died, Officer!”
Infiltrate the Gaps. Your infiltration team should be the best disguised, with Trump teeshirts and Make America Great again caps. They should be on the lookout for gaps in the line. When they spot one, they call the reinforcement team. One group should do a mini-Diversion, as the remaining Storm-Troopers rush to push off the first team, while the other teams use the opportunity to bust the line.
Beachhead. Once one or more teams have broken through the line, it is time to sit down, lie down, possibly chain together. While you have The Man’s entire attention, the Reinforcements should soon arise, bearing signage, megaphones, etc., and join the Beachhead.
Keep the Diversion going. Remaining free members of the original Diversion Teams need to stay mobile, and make a happening in new locations, keeping the Storm-Troopers occupied away from the National Mall. The fewer there are at the event, the longer the protest will last, the more Reinforcements can arrive, etc.
There are many different approaches that can be tried, but this in a nutshell is a tried-and-true way for us to stay out of “free speech zones” and bring the noise directly to The Man.